Rabbi David N. Young
My wife recently was diagnosed with breast cancer, and about six weeks ago (from the time of emailing this thought), she underwent a double mastectomy to treat it and to prevent further occurrences. Needless to say, the surgery was a big deal, and took some time to heal. Since she is a cantor in one community and I am a rabbi in another, we were inundated with requests to help. I am usually more private than my wife when it comes to personal matters, so my inclination was to roll up my sleeves and do all of the work by myself. Of course, I knew I needed to accept the help, lest I violate the rabbinic teaching, al tifrosh min hatzibur, “Do not separate yourself from the community” (Pirkei Avot 2:4).
People brought us food, came over and visited, took the dog on walks, sat with her while I went shopping or to the gym, sent games, books (both for reading and for coloring), sweets, and so much love that we were totally overwhelmed. At one point when someone asked what they could do to help, we asked them to come over and help us eat leftovers!
This is what it means to no separate from the community. It is to accept an outpouring of love and attention that we can feel all the way down to our soul. It is to be a part of something that is so much greater than a collection of families with similar interests. The Jewish community is a unit, referred to as kehillah kedoshah, a holy community. When we allow ourselves to be blessed as a part of this community, we certainly feel its holiness.
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