Jenna N. Sagan
Recently, one of my friends posted this to social media. “My date last night was nice, but I’m not entirely sure he was kind.”
The post set me thinking about the nature of kindness. We might think that kindness is doing things for others or behaving in what appears to be a selfless manner. Perhaps it means acting lovingly toward our families, friends, and pets. We might even recall the famous words of our sage, Hillel. “Do not do to others, that which is hateful to you.” However even those wise words, when approached superficially, can be self-interested. If I refrain from causing pain merely because I myself don’t enjoy the physical sensation, am I being authentically empathetic? Is refraining from selfish behavior for fear of repercussion truly kind?
Such accountings miss a crucial element. Being kind means developing an empathy which approaches others with dignity and respect, not only because we want to be treated similarly, but because we recognize ourselves and our experiences in another person whom we may not even know. We do this even if our only shared experience is that of being human or, in the case of animals, being alive.
The month of Elul offers us an opportunity to reflect upon our attitudes and mannerisms and ask ourselves if we understand what kindness is, and whether we are behaving in accordance. Only then can we hope to stand on the precipice of the New Year, a better person.
Everything else is just being nice.
The post set me thinking about the nature of kindness. We might think that kindness is doing things for others or behaving in what appears to be a selfless manner. Perhaps it means acting lovingly toward our families, friends, and pets. We might even recall the famous words of our sage, Hillel. “Do not do to others, that which is hateful to you.” However even those wise words, when approached superficially, can be self-interested. If I refrain from causing pain merely because I myself don’t enjoy the physical sensation, am I being authentically empathetic? Is refraining from selfish behavior for fear of repercussion truly kind?
Such accountings miss a crucial element. Being kind means developing an empathy which approaches others with dignity and respect, not only because we want to be treated similarly, but because we recognize ourselves and our experiences in another person whom we may not even know. We do this even if our only shared experience is that of being human or, in the case of animals, being alive.
The month of Elul offers us an opportunity to reflect upon our attitudes and mannerisms and ask ourselves if we understand what kindness is, and whether we are behaving in accordance. Only then can we hope to stand on the precipice of the New Year, a better person.
Everything else is just being nice.
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